The Co-Parenting Relationship

Rate your co-parenting relationship on a scale of 1-5 for each of the following:

1 = Not at all, 2 = Rarely, 3 = Occasionally, 4 = Often, 5 = Always

______ We give our children the freedom to love both parents.

______ I believe my child’s well-being is directly affected by the quality of relationship I have with their other parent.

______ The transition between our homes is smooth and positive.

______ We discuss and deal with financial matters in a rational way.

______ We intentionally plan out the details of Christmas and other holidays to minimize the stress.

______ We make it possible for our children to love and maintain ties with both extended families.

______ We enjoy being at our children’s functions and are there to enhance our children’s happiness.

______ I think the more functional my relationship is with my ex, the less likely it is that our children will engage in high-risk behaviors.

______ We recognize the developmental stages of our children and let them enjoy their childhood.

______ We take care of responsibilities as adults and do not put pressure on the children to do our jobs.

______ We allow and encourage our children to take specific clothing, toys, and electronic devices between their homes.

______ We encourage our children to have photos of their other parent (and family) in their bedroom.

______ We tell our children it is okay to talk about how much they miss the other parent.

______ I discuss specific parenting strategies with my ex.

______ We speak highly of the other parent to our children, with at least three specific compliments.

______ We prioritize our time with the children and are fully engaged with them and focus on them.

______ We communicate regularly with our co-parent at predesignated meetings or telephone calls.

______ I do not get upset when our child seeks out the other parent after a game or event.

______ We do not allow or utilize the children as messengers or “go-betweens” on anything.

______ We incorporate other friends and activities into our lives to enhance our self-care and happiness.

______ When we are both present at the same event we do not use the opportunity to discuss family business.

______ We are working with our co-parent and stepparents to raise healthy and well-adjusted children.

______ I can see a positive difference in my children as a result of our co-parenting efforts.

______ I know why co-parenting is so vitally important to the well-being of my children and stepchildren.

______ It makes sense to me that the well-being of my children/stepchildren is dependent on the relationship with the other parents(s) involved.

Thriving Children – 96-125 Points

Struggling Children – 71-95 Points

Distressed Children – 0-70 Points